Are impasses truly impassable?

 

im·passe
ˈimˌpas,imˈpas/
noun
a situation in which no progress is possible, especially because of disagreement; a deadlock.
“the current political impasse”
synonyms: deadlock, dead end, stalemate, standoff

 

 

According to the dictionary, an impasse is a deadlock. No way around. No way through. A complete disagreement. What if it isn’t? Are people truly capable of stepping back and examining all sides without having to “give in” on their feelings or beliefs?

If you were to ask me that two nights ago, I would have told you no. No fucking way. Not possible. How could I even begin to be able to consider someone else’s position on something that is and has been such a strong position I have held.

It started as a simple conversation between friends. Actually, there wasn’t anything simple about it. But we were having it. It was going well. Some give here, some take there. And then it happened. We were at a complete impasse. What I did not realize was just how passionate and self righteous you can become when your beliefs are questioned. How can others not see your side? Not even take it into account? Even if it is your best friend. They should be able to see your side right? Apparently not. Hatred can rear it’s ugly head even in a person who you may have never thought that was a possibility. I mean really, how can that happen? Well, it can. And it hurts when it does. Really truly hurts. Deep down to your core.

However, it doesn’t mean you can’t work though it. Even the most stubborn people can break through an impasse. It does mean that you really have to look deep inside yourself and find that teeny tiny piece of your being that can, even if it is just to imagine, can try to see another’s point of view. Their beliefs are not a personal attack on you. That is hard to see in the moment. But it isn’t. Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Even if it opposite yours. It takes a strong person to be able to admit there are many sides. Many beliefs.

What happens when there are two stubborn people who have reached an impasse? How do you address the elephant in the room? Someone has to take the first step. It might as well be you. You have nothing to lose. Especially if you trust the other person with your life. In reality, at least in my reality, all it does is open the door to possibilities. Maybe there are three sides. Why can’t you each have your opinion and agree to disagree? Maybe meet somewhere in the middle without giving up your beliefs. Trust me when I say it is a possibility. And it feels amazing when you can break through. It doesn’t mean I have changed my opinion or belief. It just means I was able to open my mind to other possibilities.