What’s grosser than gross? Me at the moment. I am lying on the bed in one of the bedrooms waiting for Ari to finish taking his shower so that I can take one. I have layers upon layers of sweat on my body. I feel gross. I probably smell gross. Ari, being 12, thought he could get any with just going to bed without taking a shower. I mean really, 12 year old boys stink regardless, so no wonder he thought it was ok. I told him he had to get out of bed and into a shower His response was why? I put deodorant on when I changed into my jammies. Uh no, not happening. Each of the bedrooms has their own bathroom which turns into the shower. But we only shower in one of the bathrooms. Why you ask? Because the floor is soaking wet. The toilet is soaking wet. The toilet paper turns into a ball of mush. get the picture? So what happens in the middle of the night if you get up to go to the bathroom? Use your imagination….. So her I lie waiting for Frank Sinatra to finish. Such a luxury to be able to take as long of a shower as you want. There is no drought here….None whatsoever. Hurry up I think to myself because I cannot stand my stench any longer. I look at my feet. Wow they have gotten quite tan. I have tan lines where my flip flops are.
Anyhow, we have had quite the experiences int he past few days. Going to different markets trying to find the necessities we need to make this house a home. We found cushions for the furniture. Hideous flower patterns that make your grandmother’s Florida apartment furniture seem high class comparatively. I laugh whenever I look a them. We got ripped off so many times yesterday. So sad…We definitely need to know how much things should cost, as well as understand how to say numbers in Lao. I am going to make us each a cheat sheet to carry with us. We get home from Phousy (yes…it sounds just like what you think it sounds like) Market and two older ladies nicely dressed in dresses were in our driveway. We were trying to figure out who they were and what they wanted. They were trying to give us a bill for $160,000 kip. We were using google translate to ask what this was for. I realized it was for the garbage. I knew the previous tenant had sent me some info on the house and that garbage was $20,000 kip per month and that two ladies would come around to collect it. His message said that he had paid up through March. That meant I was responsible for Arpil, may, June, and July….$80,000 kip. I was trying to tell them no I would pay their requested amount. They walked across the street to find the man who watches the house when we weren’t here. He wasn’t home. I found a neighbor that spoke English and told her to tell the ladies the situation. When they realized I knew when they were up to, they began giggling and bowing to me like they were only joking. I lost my shit. I told the nice neighbor to tell them they were wrong horrible people to try and cheat someone who didn’t know the language and that Buddha was watching them and he would know and they wouldn’t be getting any where close to nirvana. One lady jokingly hit my shoulder and giggled at me. I told her in no uncertain terms to get the fuck off of me and what I thought of her and her friend and how they could go to hell, etc….Of course it was all in Spanish. Because does it really matter? They don’t understand English and I don’t understand Lao. I do however, understand what it means to be taken advantage of. Hopefully, they will go back and look up some of the words I used in google translate. Gran Putahs!
One a cleaner note…..My shower was AMAZING! I never realized how much I would enjoy a cold shower. Yes, we have hot water (not many people here do), but I barely used it. The layers of sweat and grime are off my body for the night, only to return tomorrow. Time for bed…..The monks feel it necessary to hold drum circles at 4 am, which wakes the roosters, which wakes the cats, which wakes the dogs. I’m sure you get where I am going with this one.
Good night
PS- my feet weren’t actually tan…
One on, one off, one in the wash... 