Threes…..

Threes. Things always happen in threes. Why is that? It’s not scientifically proven, yet most of us believe in it. You hear of two famous people who have died, and you wonder who is going to be the third? I thought I had my three. First Aunt Peggy, then Mommy and Daddy. But I was wrong because it happened again. The next most important woman in my life is gone. Shouldn’t have happened either. But it did. And now I am on a plane across the country to be there for my best friend, who was there for me when I needed him. Neil was one of the first people I called from the hospital that night while we were in that “surreal soap opera haze”. He was one of the first people to fly up to NY. I didn’t even have to ask him to come. He just knew I needed him there. Just as I know he needs me now. I know exactly what he is going through. I’m not sure anyone else can honestly say that. It’s a new secret badge we are wearing. We are members of a new club. Not one that we wanted to join. Not one that we had a choice to join. Yet one we are now forever members of.

Not sure I can do this again. I really don’t think I can. I wish Marc was here with me. I could really use him right now. However, that just wasn’t possible, and I couldn’t make Ari go through it again. I know Marc would be here if he could though. Joan (Bubba) was a big part of our relationship as well. She was there when we met. The 25th Birthday Party we had for Marc was at her house. I have pictures of the cake she made. Can’t post them here though. Lol. People who knew her can imagine what it was. And it was fabulous. Joan (Bubba) always made sure we had yummy food to eat. Being a caterer helped to make sure of that. She would even make snacks for us to take to Dead shows. Lemon Bars, Brownies, and Blondies to name a few. We tried to give some to people, but they were scared there was something in them. There wasn’t. I have so many memories of Bubba and Oscar (he passed 8 years ago) So many memories. They were a huge part of my life. I basically lived at their house throughout High School. Oscar helped me write and mail out my first resume, even after I ate all the crunches out of his favorite cereal leaving him with just the boring flakes. They were at our wedding. I remember dancing with Jerry at my wedding. He was so proud of the adult I had become. They both were. And now they are both gone.

I can’t imagine a world without Bubba. She was as real as they come. Always up for a late night ride to Chinatown or to The Lemon Ice King. A midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Whatever. You just knew it would be fun and you would laugh till your stomach hurt.

I was recently told that “we” are now getting to that age when we start losing people. I call bullshit on that one.

There is so much noise in my head. So much pain in my heart.

Thailand can’t come soon enough. Just a few more weeks I keep telling myself. Just a few more weeks and hopefully I can start to make sense of at least some of this.