“On our trip, I really want to go see Tiger Cave Temple”. That was something I had asked several times. Each time I got the same answer. Ok. But it’s hard. Are you sure you can do it? Of course I can do it. Wtf. Why wouldn’t I be able to? Several times I was told that he had been there with people much younger than I was (fuck off. I’m not that old) and it was hard for them and took them a long time. I guess you don’t know me that well. If someone tells me I can’t….damn straight I’m going to do it. Even if it kills me.
After driving for two days through a cyclone, we finally made it to Phuket. I actually don’t remember Phuket being a place I said I wanted to go. I didn’t want a nasty dirty backpacker party town. But fuck it (pun intended) we went. We arrived after it was already dark. Took a while to find out Hotel. Things really need to be better labeled….The dumb lady on google maps told us we had to park and walk to our destination. Uh. No. This is a nice place. I’m not walking anywhere. Holy crap. Getting up the driveway as a feat in itself. Then. The steps up…Fucking Asia and its steps. Someone, I don’t remember male or female brought us up to our room. The Executive Suite. OMG. The views. Even though it was dark, it was beautiful. Little did I know what awaited me in the morning. We decided to go for a swim in the infinity pool and have some beers. I don’t remember if we went out or not that night. I’m guessing no…Next morning I woke to the most spectacular view of the Andaman Sea. Blew my mind. Maybe Phuket wasn’t so bad…..
We leave for Tiger Temple Cave. About an hour later we arrived. It was already so hot and humid. Fuck. Did that sign just say what I thought it did? 1237 steps? Ok. Here we go. Shit. Why can’t they make stairs the same height here? What’s up with the 2 foot step and the the 4 inch one and then the 8 inch one? I remember passing 75 or so and thinking shit. That’s it? I was certain it was at least 200 or more. I was sweating and completely out of breath. All of a sudden monkeys came out. And not the cute cuddly ones. Aggressive ones that tried to take whatever it was you had in your hands. Some lady started freaking out. She kept blocking my path. She was so annoying. I wanted to push her off the edge. Finally I got past her and kept climbing. Dripping wet, glasses fogged. Can’t see. Can’t breathe.
Must.Keep.Going….Can’t let him think I can’t do it. But he was no where in sight. That fucker was probably at the top already. Finally step 999….only 238 more to go. I want to die. The steps never leveled out. People are sitting everywhere trying to catch their breath and muster up the strength to keep going. People coming down were saying we were almost there…A girl stops next to me and says she can’t go anymore. That her friend was already at the top. We encouraged eachother to make it up. We didn’t know eachother. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was ya making up to the top. Together. We would say ok. Let’s go 50 steps and rest. We would get maybe 10 or 15 and stop. Finally we made it up to the top!!! Thankfully there was drinkable water. I was so hot that I was shivering. I was cold. Not a good sign…shade. Need shade. But there was none. And then I turned to see I had to go up more fucking steps to get to the actual top. Had to take my shoes off and put on a skirt so my knees were covered. My t shirt was soaked. Nasty dripping with sweat. I took my shoes off. OMG that was so gross too. Up I went. WOW was all I thought when I saw the view. Holy shit. This was so worth it. I walked around and tried to take some pictures. I was shaking and about to pass out. Must find shade and sit down. And where the fuck is Sakai? Hadn’t seen him in a long time. Finally found him sitting comfortably in a shady spot looking out. Not a drop of sweat on him. Fucker. I find a place to sit in the shade and drank a gallon of water. After a bit the world stopped spinning and I could really focus in on the view and think about what I had just done. Crazy! But wait. Now I have to get up and walk all the way back down. Where’s the elevator? We start down. Let me tell you, it’s just as hard going back down. I didn’t realize just how steep it was. Vertigo was setting in. The place was spinning. I’m going to Fall and free Fall all the way to the bottom. Shit. And Sakai is no where in sight again. He’s probably already at the bottom. Eventually I make it down. My legs are shaking. Shit this is gonna hurt later…
We get in the car and drove about an hour and a half to a hot spring. This time we could actually get in it. It wasn’t 55 degrees Celsius. It was hot but felt sooooooo good. And the bonus was we took a golf cart out to the Spring. Cost an extra 40 Bhat for round trip. I didn’t care if it was 40000 Bhat. I couldn’t walk. They had a massage Area there. I went and got an amazing 60 minute massage for 200 Bhat. About 6 USD. I know I fell asleep because I woke myself snoring. Lol. Probably was drooling too…I tried to get up and realized how stiff my legs already were. This ain’t going to be good…And it wasn’t. I was sooooo sore the next day. All I wanted to do was sit at the pool. But nope. Not allowed to on this trip….We decided to stay one more night in Phuket. Going to meet up with a friend of Sakai’s later…That’s another story…One I probably won’t share…Except for the part about the drag queen show. That was HILARIOUS. We were sitting on “gay street” watching it. So funny.
Tomorrow we head to Krabi. Where I have wanted to go for so long….can’t wait. Hope I can walk….
One on, one off, one in the wash... 