Guardrails

I don’t know if I’m used to it or not. The roads that really aren’t roads. The bouncing for hours down these rocky paths. The sheer drops that make me want to puke, pee my pants, and hold on to the oh shit handle right above my window at the same time. Or is it the Guesthouses I stay in while I’m in the field? The ones where if I have electricity or my own “squatty potty” I’m living large? Is it my intermittent fasting when I go to the field because i have no idea what will happen if I eat that? (Remember the part above about the squatty potty?) Is it the curious looks, more like stares I get in each village or at each school because I am the only farang? I’m the only one who doesn’t have black hair. I’m the only one who doesn’t speak fluent Lao, or Hmong, or Khmu. I’m the only one who looks out of place. 

I don’t feel out of place though. It is a strange comfort being at each and every school and village I have been to these past six months. The more remote the school, the better. I get to experience life being lived. Sometimes these villages exist just to exist. These people work harder than anyone I have ever seen JUST. TO. LIVE. Not to save money for whatever it is we save money for. Shit, they don’t even make money. They work from sunrise to sundown just to live. They send their kids to school to learn. Sometimes I find myself asking why bother? It’s not like they will go anywhere or if they do, it won’t be far from their village. But it does matter. It matters more than anything that these children go to school to learn. More so about hygiene and sanitation than what Donald Trump did today. Most of these schools don’t have water or toilets for that matter. And if there is water, you cant drink it. Until we bring them ceramic water filters like we did today. We take for granted just turning on the tap and there it is. We take for granted being able to flush a toilet. (I’m not complaining about that one. I’ll take being able to flush any day of the week) But do they seem sad or angry? Nope. They don’t know any different and that’s a good thing in a way. These kids aren’t in any competition over who wears the latest fashion. Or who has the latest electronic device. They are so happy and smiling all of the time just to be able to go to school. They have known each and every kid since the day they were born. They see each other every day. What could they possibly have to talk about? No one has tv out here. They barely have electricity. Yet, I see them walking arm in arm laughing. I wonder what they talk about? 

I cant believe I am at the six month point of my Secondment. It is flying by so fast. I really want to hit the pause This is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself. I have always put others ahead of me. Content to sit back and say it isn’t the right time. I’m done with that. There is never going to be a good time. So take the time while you have it. Make it happen. Get out of your comfort zone. You won’t regret it. In fact, you will probably wonder why you haven’t don’t it sooner!